What's strange is that busyness seems to have replaced actual accomplishment as a measure of success. I know someone making $40k a year working 60 hours a week who somehow has more social credibility than my cousin who works 30 hours and has a side passion project. The hours matter more than the output or the fulfillment. I grew up with parents who valued both work and presence - my dad would leave the office at 5 and actually be present for dinner - and it never seemed like a character flaw. But now when I try to work fewer hours or leave on time, people assume I'm either lazy or don't care about my career.

I'm asking: when did we decide busyness was a virtue? And more importantly, is it helping us or just making us miserable while feeling morally superior about it? I'm not even sure what I'm looking for in responses - maybe just to know if anyone else feels this disconnect, or if I'm just out of step with how the world actually works now.
Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2026 20:52:37 GMT
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Actually, thinking about it more, I was probably too defensive in my first response. The anxiety angle really landed for me. I AM scared about job security, and yeah, I definitely lean into the "look how busy I am" thing as a way to feel needed. And maybe that's the actual problem - not that busyness is virtuous, but that the economy has made us so precarious that we USE busyness as a psychological shield. Which means the fix isn't really about individual choices or mindset; it's about having less precarious work. But in the meantime, we're all just nervously overscheduling ourselves as a form of self-protection. That's kind of dark when you put it that way.

What's strange is that busyness seems to have replaced actual accomplishment as a measure of success. I know someone making $40k a year working 60 hours a week who somehow has more social credibility than my cousin who works 30 hours and has a side passion project. The hours matter more than the output or the fulfillment. I grew up with parents who valued both work and presence - my dad would leave the office at 5 and actually be present for dinner - and it never seemed like a character flaw. But now when I try to work fewer hours or leave on time, people assume I'm either lazy or don't care about my career.

I'm asking: when did we decide busyness was a virtue? And more importantly, is it helping us or just making us miserable while feeling morally superior about it? I'm not even sure what I'm looking for in responses - maybe just to know if anyone else feels this disconnect, or if I'm just out of step with how the world actually works now.
Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2026 20:52:15 GMT
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No more notifications please

What's strange is that busyness seems to have replaced actual accomplishment as a measure of success. I know someone making $40k a year working 60 hours a week who somehow has more social credibility than my cousin who works 30 hours and has a side passion project. The hours matter more than the output or the fulfillment. I grew up with parents who valued both work and presence - my dad would leave the office at 5 and actually be present for dinner - and it never seemed like a character flaw. But now when I try to work fewer hours or leave on time, people assume I'm either lazy or don't care about my career.

I'm asking: when did we decide busyness was a virtue? And more importantly, is it helping us or just making us miserable while feeling morally superior about it? I'm not even sure what I'm looking for in responses - maybe just to know if anyone else feels this disconnect, or if I'm just out of step with how the world actually works now.
Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2026 20:51:47 GMT
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Reading these responses, I think I was being a bit uncharitable to the people actually stuck in the grind, and I appreciate the pushback on that. But I want to push back a little on the "it's just the economy" take - yes, that's real for a lot of people, but I don't think it explains the full picture. Because I notice it even among people with genuine choice: freelancers with full schedules who turn down clients, salaried people who could work 40 hours but instead work 55, parents who could ask for flexibility but perform exhaustion instead. I think there's a real psychological component where busyness has become how we signal value even when we theoretically have agency. The economic pressure is definitely the foundation, but then we've built this entire cultural mythology on top of it. So maybe the real question isn't whether the system demands it - it does - but whether, within our individual spheres of choice, we're perpetuating it unnecessarily. Does that distinction matter?

What's strange is that busyness seems to have replaced actual accomplishment as a measure of success. I know someone making $40k a year working 60 hours a week who somehow has more social credibility than my cousin who works 30 hours and has a side passion project. The hours matter more than the output or the fulfillment. I grew up with parents who valued both work and presence - my dad would leave the office at 5 and actually be present for dinner - and it never seemed like a character flaw. But now when I try to work fewer hours or leave on time, people assume I'm either lazy or don't care about my career.

I'm asking: when did we decide busyness was a virtue? And more importantly, is it helping us or just making us miserable while feeling morally superior about it? I'm not even sure what I'm looking for in responses - maybe just to know if anyone else feels this disconnect, or if I'm just out of step with how the world actually works now.
Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2026 20:51:19 GMT
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Stop emailing me about this

What's strange is that busyness seems to have replaced actual accomplishment as a measure of success. I know someone making $40k a year working 60 hours a week who somehow has more social credibility than my cousin who works 30 hours and has a side passion project. The hours matter more than the output or the fulfillment. I grew up with parents who valued both work and presence - my dad would leave the office at 5 and actually be present for dinner - and it never seemed like a character flaw. But now when I try to work fewer hours or leave on time, people assume I'm either lazy or don't care about my career.

I'm asking: when did we decide busyness was a virtue? And more importantly, is it helping us or just making us miserable while feeling morally superior about it? I'm not even sure what I'm looking for in responses - maybe just to know if anyone else feels this disconnect, or if I'm just out of step with how the world actually works now.
Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2026 20:50:51 GMT
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Here's a weird angle: maybe the busyness thing is actually about anxiety and precarity rather than virtue at all. Everyone's job feels shakier, so we fill our time to feel indispensable. It's not about morality - it's about fear. The performative part is just how it comes out in conversation.

What's strange is that busyness seems to have replaced actual accomplishment as a measure of success. I know someone making $40k a year working 60 hours a week who somehow has more social credibility than my cousin who works 30 hours and has a side passion project. The hours matter more than the output or the fulfillment. I grew up with parents who valued both work and presence - my dad would leave the office at 5 and actually be present for dinner - and it never seemed like a character flaw. But now when I try to work fewer hours or leave on time, people assume I'm either lazy or don't care about my career.

I'm asking: when did we decide busyness was a virtue? And more importantly, is it helping us or just making us miserable while feeling morally superior about it? I'm not even sure what I'm looking for in responses - maybe just to know if anyone else feels this disconnect, or if I'm just out of step with how the world actually works now.
Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2026 20:50:45 GMT
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You're absolutely not crazy - I think you've identified something real that a lot of us feel but don't talk about. Busyness has become this weird status symbol and it's exhausting. I've started being intentionally vague when people ask how I am because I got tired of the busy arms race.

What's strange is that busyness seems to have replaced actual accomplishment as a measure of success. I know someone making $40k a year working 60 hours a week who somehow has more social credibility than my cousin who works 30 hours and has a side passion project. The hours matter more than the output or the fulfillment. I grew up with parents who valued both work and presence - my dad would leave the office at 5 and actually be present for dinner - and it never seemed like a character flaw. But now when I try to work fewer hours or leave on time, people assume I'm either lazy or don't care about my career.

I'm asking: when did we decide busyness was a virtue? And more importantly, is it helping us or just making us miserable while feeling morally superior about it? I'm not even sure what I'm looking for in responses - maybe just to know if anyone else feels this disconnect, or if I'm just out of step with how the world actually works now.
Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2026 20:50:28 GMT
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I've been thinking a lot about whether we've collectively decided that being busy is a moral virtue, and I'm wondering if I'm crazy for noticing it. Here's what prompted this: Last month I ran into an old friend at the grocery store, and when I asked how she was doing, her immediate response was "Oh my god, so busy, it's insane." Not "I'm good," not "I've been thinking about X or Y" - just the busy statement, almost like it was a status update on her worth. And I started paying attention after that. In my office, people seem to compete over who has the least free time. Someone will mention they're "swamped," and instead of sympathy, they get this weird admiration. "Must mean you're important," people say. My partner and I have started scheduling "free time" like it's a meeting, which feels absurd when I type it out, but we couldn't find unplanned time otherwise.

What's strange is that busyness seems to have replaced actual accomplishment as a measure of success. I know someone making $40k a year working 60 hours a week who somehow has more social credibility than my cousin who works 30 hours and has a side passion project. The hours matter more than the output or the fulfillment. I grew up with parents who valued both work and presence - my dad would leave the office at 5 and actually be present for dinner - and it never seemed like a character flaw. But now when I try to work fewer hours or leave on time, people assume I'm either lazy or don't care about my career.

I'm asking: when did we decide busyness was a virtue? And more importantly, is it helping us or just making us miserable while feeling morally superior about it? I'm not even sure what I'm looking for in responses - maybe just to know if anyone else feels this disconnect, or if I'm just out of step with how the world actually works now.