Person A made me reconsider. Maybe the happiness metrics are off because we're measuring the wrong thing. I had my kids pretty young without thinking about it much, and yeah, they derailed my career ambitions - but something shifted in me where I stopped needing external validation. I can't tell if that's wisdom or just resignation. But I'm more at peace now than I was at 25, and the kids are clearly part of that equation somehow, even if I can't isolate their impact.

Reading these responses, I realize I was asking the wrong question. I think what I really meant was: why do we need parenthood to validate our lives? We celebrate people without kids less, assume they're incomplete somehow. But I'm noticing that people with kids and without kids seem equally happy and equally miserable - the kids are just an excuse or a reason we give afterward. The real variable is whether you chose it consciously or just fell into it.

This feels like a cope for people without kids. Yeah, parenting is hard, but that's kind of the point - genuine fulfillment usually comes from doing something difficult that matters. I'm happier now with my kids than I ever was chasing promotions and weekend brunches.

I think it's both true and a complete lie depending on when you ask. The happiness spike is real - that newborn stage is magical. But the day-to-day grind? Nobody talks about how soul-crushing it can be. I think we conflate peak experiences with overall life satisfaction and call it meaning.