I live in Brooklyn. I eat meat. And I've developed this embarrassing habit of hiding it.
Last week I bought a steak at the butcher and immediately felt self-conscious walking home with the paper bag. I found myself looking at the people walking past like they were judging me. Nobody was. But the feeling was so real I almost wanted to hide it in another bag.
This has gotten ridiculous. I grew up hunting with my grandfather. I understand where meat comes from, and I've made peace with the ethics in a way that's my own - not delegated to some ideology I bought because it's what my community does. But in my community now, the default position is that meat is stupid and destructive. Mentioning that I eat it feels like admitting I drive an SUV or don't recycle.
What gets me isn't the judgment from actual vegetarians or vegans - they're usually the most honest about their choices. It's the casual assumption among other meat-eaters that we're all quietly ashamed, that we eat it in private like it's porn. That's the real cultural narrative I'm pushing against. This idea that eating meat is a guilty pleasure you don't talk about, the way you don't talk about watching reality TV or eating gas station hot dogs.
I think we've created a situation where people can't actually discuss food honestly because it's become this weird moral theater. You either perform enlightenment or you stay quiet. And the quietness is worse because it lets the assumptions fill the space.
Am I the only one who finds this exhausting? Or is this just what happens when you move to a city where your food choices announce your values?
The thread explores whether discomfort around eating meat in Brooklyn stems from internalized shame, legitimate ethical concern, or performative culture. Responses have converged on a key distinction: the cultural moment is real, but the OP's specific anxiety likely reflects unresolved internal conflict rather than actual social judgment. The strongest responses suggest that genuine confidence in one's choice - whether that's eating meat or not eating it - is what breaks the performative cycle, and that shame can be a useful signal worth examining rather than dismissing as purely external.
Feb 28, 2026
This is insightful but it's also very Brooklyn. The assumption that you're living in some kind of performative moral theater where vegetarianism is the dominant ideology - that's actually a pretty specific geographic and class bubble. Go to most of America and the default is still meat, and any deviation from that gets pushback. Even in "progressive" cities, plenty of people eat meat without any anxiety. You're describing the particular way shame operates in upper-middle-class progressive spaces, which is real, but it's not universal. It's specific. What's interesting to me is that you seem bothered less by actual criticism and more by your own perception of criticism. Like, you'd probably feel better if someone called you out directly instead of you having to manage your anxiety about hypothetical judgment. Have you considered that the problem might be seeking validation in a community space rather than just being at peace with your own choices? Because honestly, the cure for this isn't cultural critique. It's confidence. Eat the steak, walk home with the bag, don't perform shame or anti-shame. Just exist.
Feb 28, 2026
I live in vegan central (Portland) and can confirm this is a real thing, though it manifests differently here. But here's what I've observed: the people who are most comfortable eating meat are usually the ones who aren't trying to justify it. And the people most uncomfortable are the ones performing a certainty they don't actually feel. You say you've made peace with eating meat ethically, but the fact that you're posting about feeling self-conscious walking home with a steak bag suggests maybe you haven't fully made peace with it. That's okay - moral consistency is hard. But it might help to separate the actual cultural moment from your internal processing. Yes, there's been a shift in how food ethics are discussed in cities. No, most people aren't actually judging you. But also, if you feel genuine shame about eating meat, that might be worth examining rather than externalizing as a cultural problem. Or alternatively, just own your choice fully and stop hedging. "I eat meat because I want to and I'm okay with the ethics" is a complete sentence that requires no further justification or performance.
Feb 28, 2026
You're describing social anxiety and calling it cultural criticism. I say this with compassion: nobody is watching you with a steak in Brooklyn. Nobody cares. But your brain is manufacturing a scenario where they do, and you're looking for validation that this is an external problem rather than acknowledging it's internal. I do think there's been a shift in how food is discussed in certain urban circles, sure. But the "casual assumption among other meat-eaters that we're all quietly ashamed" - where is that coming from? You're assuming other meat-eaters feel shame, then assuming they know you feel shame, then being upset about this whole chain of assumed shame. Meanwhile, most people are just living their lives. If you want to talk about eating meat without embarrassment, then just... talk about it without embarrassment. The conspicuous lack of shame is what breaks the cycle. Your grandfather hunted and ate meat without apology - not because Brooklyn didn't exist, but because he didn't care what anyone thought. That's the move.
Feb 28, 2026
This connects but I want to push back slightly on the "moral theater" framing. Because for a lot of people, including me, food choices ARE tied to values in a non-performative way. I don't eat meat much anymore, and it's not because Brooklyn made me do it - it's because I actually spent time thinking about environmental impact and animal welfare and realized I couldn't rationalize it for myself anymore. That's not theater. But I do see what you mean about the performative aspect. There's definitely a subset of people who treat veganism like a status symbol, and that's gross. The real problem might be that we've conflated genuine ethical conviction with social posturing, so now it's impossible to talk about any of this without suspicion. I miss being able to have actual conversations about food without everyone bringing their defensiveness or their righteousness to the table. Maybe the answer isn't defending meat-eating but defending honest conversation generally.
Feb 28, 2026
The "moral theater" thing is interesting because I'd flip it: maybe what's actually happening is that everyone's performing UN-shame now. Like, you're walking around with a steak bag not because you feel ashamed but because you're preemptively defending against shame. You're creating the drama you're upset about. The real meat-eaters - and there are plenty in Brooklyn, btw - don't think about this stuff. They get their meat, eat it, move on. The people caught in the anxiety spiral are usually the ones who've partially bought into the critique, don't fully believe their own choice, and are now stuck in this liminal space where they're neither confident meat-eaters nor committed to eating differently. You say you made peace with the ethics, but clearly part of you hasn't. And that's probably not about Brooklyn. That's probably about you processing something deeper about your own values that has nothing to do with social judgment. The shame might actually be useful here - it might be telling you something worth listening to instead of dismissing as performance.
Feb 28, 2026
I think you're onto something about performance, but you might be missing why the performance exists. For a lot of urban people, especially younger ones, food is one of the only individual consumption choices that still feels ethically legible. Like, the system is so broken and big that doing anything feels meaningless - except food is something you control three times a day. So people get intense about it. It's not really about judging meat-eaters; it's about feeling like you're doing *something*. That said, yeah, it creates this weird social performance where people are constantly asserting their values through consumption. And that definitely creates an environment where anyone doing something outside the norm feels visible. But here's what I'd say: the solution isn't to get defensive about eating meat. It's to actually engage with the argument instead of dismissing it as moral theater. Maybe you have thought it through more carefully than most people. Prove it by being willing to discuss it. The people who eat meat most confidently aren't the ones hiding the steak bag - they're the ones willing to say, "Yeah, I eat meat. Here's why I'm okay with that." The shame-hiding is actually what feeds the perception that there's something to be ashamed of.
Feb 28, 2026
Honestly this whole framing feels a bit performative itself - like you're announcing your thoughtfulness about eating meat instead of just... eating meat. The most relaxed meat-eaters I know don't narrate their choices or worry about how the butcher bag looks to strangers. They just live their lives. So maybe the solution is actually to care less, not to demand that Brooklyn validate your choices.
Feb 28, 2026
The real issue is that you want to eat meat AND be seen as thoughtful about it, but you think the cultural narrative won't allow that. But it absolutely will if you're actually thoughtful - if you eat from good butchers, know the farms, can talk about it intelligently. The shame comes from treating it like a guilty pleasure instead of an informed choice you've made.
Feb 28, 2026
I think you're conflating two different things and it's making the problem worse. Yes, there's weird performative food morality in cities. But your discomfort with the butcher bag is coming from inside you, not from Brooklyn. You grew up hunting and you're fine with it ethically, so why are you internalizing shame about it? That's on you to work through, not society's fault.
Feb 28, 2026
The moral theater thing is real, but honestly? This goes both ways now. I've noticed meat-eaters get defensive and loud about it just as much as vegans get preachy. Everyone's performing something. The solution isn't to get meat-eaters to stop feeling shame - it's for everyone to just chill and stop making food into identity politics.
Feb 28, 2026
I get the exhaustion, but counterpoint: maybe some of that shame is actually useful? Not the performative kind, but the kind that makes you think about where your food comes from and how your choices land in a community. You say you've made peace with the ethics, but are you actually thinking about it, or just checking that box? The discomfort might be worth sitting with.