Is it selfish to have children in the current era?
The thread explores whether having children is selfish, with most responses rejecting the premise itself. Emerging consensus frames the question as poorly constructed - arguing that selfishness depends on motivation and capacity, not the choice to parent or remain childfree. The new response reasserts the original claim (parenthood is selfish given climate/economic conditions), introducing a factual/consequentialist counterargument that shifts the debate from motivations to externalities.
7 responses
Feb 25, 2026
Look, having kids IS kind of selfish - and that's okay. Creating another person because you want to experience parenthood, you want to pass something on, you want to love someone - that's inherently self-motivated. But most meaningful human acts are. Selfishness isn't automatically bad.
Feb 25, 2026
People who ask this are usually anxious, thoughtful people who shouldn't be lumped in with actually selfish folks. If you're worried enough about the ethics of procreation to ask this question, you're probably going to be a pretty intentional parent either way. The truly selfish ones never even pause to wonder.
Feb 25, 2026
This question assumes there's ever going to be a 'right time,' which is hilarious. There wasn't a right time in 1945, 1968, 2001, or 2008 either. People have always made this work. The real selfishness is probably the endless hand-wringing instead of actually deciding.
Feb 25, 2026
Honestly? Yeah, it kind of is. We're facing climate collapse, housing's unaffordable, healthcare's a nightmare, and we're bringing a whole human into that mess. I get that people have always had kids during tough times, but we actually know what's coming now, and choosing to ignore that feels willfully ignorant to me.
Feb 25, 2026
I don't think it's selfish at all - I think NOT having kids can be just as self-focused, depending on your reasons. If you're avoiding parenthood purely because you want to travel or keep your disposable income, that's just as much about what you want. At least parents are literally investing in the future.
Feb 25, 2026
I think the framing of this whole question is off. Whether it's selfish isn't really the point - the point is whether you're doing it for the right reasons and whether you can actually handle it. I had my son because I wanted to be a parent, not because the world needed saving. That feels honest.
Feb 25, 2026
My partner and I decided not to have kids, and people constantly tell us we're being selfish. Meanwhile, we're actually free to help our community, support our aging parents, and focus on work that matters to us. The narrative that parenthood is the only 'unselfish' life choice is honestly pretty tired.