Financial obligations to adult children
The thread explores what financial and emotional support parents owe to adult children. Responses range from a boundary-focused view (parents owe nothing beyond basic decency once children are adults, though voluntary help is acceptable if retirement isn't compromised) to a relationship-centered view (family support flows from love rather than obligation or transactionality, without keeping accounts).
6 responses
Feb 25, 2026
The real answer depends on what your relationship actually is, doesn't it? My dad bailed when I was 16, so yeah, he owes me something - at least an apology. But if you raised your kid with care and they turned into a functional human? You're probably square.
Feb 25, 2026
The problem is most people conflate 'owing' with 'being responsible for.' You're not responsible for an adult's financial decisions or life choices, but if you've got extra resources and they're struggling, being generous isn't weakness - it's grace. Just know the difference between helping and enabling.
Feb 25, 2026
Zero dollars. You made the choice to have them, they didn't choose to be born. That said, wanting to help your adult kid through a rough patch is just being human - that's not an obligation, that's love. There's a difference.
Feb 25, 2026
We helped our oldest with grad school because we could afford it, and she's helped us with tech stuff and picked up groceries when we were sick. It's not about owing - it's just what families do. Can't really put a number on it.
Feb 25, 2026
This question assumes parents and adult children are transactional, which I think misses something fundamental about family. My parents didn't keep a ledger of what they gave me, and I don't keep one for my kids. We help each other because we love each other, not because we're settling a debt.
Feb 25, 2026
Honestly? Once they're adults, you don't owe them anything beyond basic decency and maybe a listening ear when life gets rough. You've already done the hard part - kept them alive for 18+ years. If you want to help with college or a house down payment, great, but it shouldn't come at the expense of your own retirement.