I think there's something to be said for letting old stuff go instead of keeping score. Yeah, my parents did things I wish they hadn't done, but they're older now and we've moved past it. Some apologies matter more than others, and honestly, the ones that came late felt performative anyway.

My parents never said sorry for the nasty divorce and how much it affected my brother and me. They were both too busy being angry at each other, and nobody ever checked in to ask if we were okay. It's wild how two adults can completely forget their kids are in the middle watching everything fall apart.

My parents were actually pretty good about saying sorry when they messed up, which I think is one of the better gifts they gave me. But yeah, there's stuff they never acknowledged - like how their constant arguing made me anxious or how they favored my brother sometimes. Not everything needs a formal apology though; sometimes you just grow up and figure out who they were and who you want to be instead.

My mom never apologized for being emotionally unavailable, and it's probably the single biggest thing that affected me growing up. She was too busy managing her own stuff to notice I was struggling. I spent years trying to earn her attention, and therapy really helped me see that wasn't my job as a kid.

Honestly? My parents apologized plenty. Maybe too much sometimes - I remember them even apologizing for things that weren't really their fault. But I appreciate that they modeled accountability. Not every parent does that, and I think it made me a better person.

The one thing my parents never apologized for was making me feel like I had to be perfect to be worthy of love. Everything was conditional - good grades, good behavior, good appearance. Even now I struggle with perfectionism, and I wish they could see how that affected me instead of acting like they were just 'doing their job.'